Dining Room Specifics

Dining Etiquette for Both Ladies and Gentlemen

ARRIVALS & SEATING ARRANGEMENTS

Be punctual for all dinner engagements. Food may not be served before all guests are seated

The host leads the guests into dine with the senior lady (in age or social standing) on his left arm. All other gentlemen follow with a compatible lady on their left arms. The hostess takes the left arm of the senior male guest and enters last

Gentlemen seat the lady they are escorting to their left. All gentlemen remain standing until all ladies are seated

Married couples are never seated together (They are together enough otherwise)

Ladies remove their gloves when they are seated. Gentlemen remove theirs just before seating themselves (gloves were often placed in tail coat pockets - See Social Rules for Gentlemen re gloves)

Sit upright, neither too close nor too far away from the table.  Open and spread upon your lap or breast a napkin.  Do not be in haste; compose yourself, put your mind into a pleasant condition, and resolve to eat slowly.

DINING

The gentlemen are to tend to the needs of the lady on their left, as well as make agreeable conversation with ladies to either side and across the table (size of table permitting)

A lady never serves herself from a buffet line. She informs her dinner partner of her wishes and he brings her plate to her

The gentleman, when a dish is brought, having seen the lady he escorted provided for, will help himself and pass it on.  He will pay no attention to the other lady near him, but will leave that to her escort.

In all cases he will be careful and attentive to the wants of the lady in his charge, ascertaining her wishes and issuing her orders to the waiters.

Basic rules of polite dinner manners apply then as now regarding use of table ware, personal habits, use of table ware, etc.

Some interesting bits of advice for the era:

Gentlemen may tuck his napkin into his collar to prevent soiling his shirt or tie, but ladies should place their napkin in their laps

Do not use your knife to carry food to your mouth or put your knife into your mouth

Do not rinse your mouth out and spit into the finger bowls or water glass

Do not gorge yourself excessively during any one course. Never ask for seconds as all other diners must wait until you are finished before being served the next course

Keep the hands from the table until your time comes to be served.  It is rude to take knife and fork in hand and commence drumming on the table while you are waiting.  Eccentricity should be avoided as much as possible at the table.

Never blow your nose at the table; also avoid sneezing or coughing. It is better to arise quietly from the table if you have occasion to do either.  A sneeze is prevented by placing the finger firmly on the upper lip.

While waiting to be served is the most appropriate time for you to put into practice your knowledge of small talk and pleasant words with those whom you are sitting near.

If soup comes first, and you do not desire it, you will simply say, "No, I thank-you," but make no comment; or you may take it and eat as little as you choose. The soup should be eaten with a medium-sized spoon, so slowly and carefully that you will drop none upon your person or the tablecloth.  Making an effort to get the last drop, and all unusual noise when eating, should be avoided.

No polite guest will ever fastidiously smell or examine any article of food before tasting it.  Such conduct would be an insult to those who have invited him. Neither will the host or hostess apologize for the cooking.

Never spit out bones, cherry pits, grape skins, etc., upon your plate. Quietly squeeze them from your mouth upon your fork, then lay them upon the side of your plate.

As consideration of deep and abstruse principles will impair digestion, never allow the conversation at the table to drift into anything but chitchat.

Never allow butter, soup, or other food to remain upon your whiskers.

Never overload your plate.

Never, when serving others, overload the plate nor force upon them delicacies which they decline.

Never make a display when removing hair, insects, or other disagreeable things from your food.  Place them quietly under the edge of your plate.

Never open your mouth while chewing.

Never make noises with the mouth or throat.

Never leave the table with food in your mouth.

Never tip back in your chair nor lounge upon the table.

Never permit yourself to use gestures, nor illustrations made with a knife or fork upon the tablecloth.

Never hold bones in your fingers while you eat from them.

Never explain at the table why certain foods do not agree with you.

Never pick your teeth or put your hand in your mouth while eating.

Never wipe your fingers on the tablecloth, nor clean them in your mouth. Always use the napkin. 

DEPARTURE

Opinions varied regarding ladies’ withdrawal to the drawing room after the meal while the men indulge in port, cigars and masculine conversation. Follow the lead of the host and hostess